Come on ovaries, O

You know you want to. Make it count this month. I've had a good amount of EWCM the past two days so I know you're in the mood. You're causing me some cramps so I know you're thinking about it. Ovulate. Just let it go. Release that egg.
Egg: Now when all the sperm come out to meet you, don't be afraid. They're your friends. They're going to try to snuggle with you and that's ok. It is your job to make them feel welcome. Open your doors and let one or two of them in. It's a simple job, but I need you to do that for me. Now, once you've let one in I'm gonna need you to find your way down to the uterus and when you get there, stick. Hold tight to the wall and do not let go. Hold on for dear life! Please do this for us!

So last night I had one of the most realistic dreams I've ever had. My dad, sister, and BIL were all at my house. James had just left for work. I was 12dpo and wanted to test, so I did. I had J on the phone and almost immediately I saw two pink lines. The second line was as dark as the control so there was no mistaking it. At first I didn't believe it. I've never seen a second line show up before so of course it would be shocking. Once I realized it meant we were pregnant I broke down crying, almost hysterically. My sister came back in the bathroom to see why I was so upset and saw the test and shouted out, right in front of BIL, "you're pregnant?!?" Of course she was just excited but I was kind of upset that she already had inadvertently told someone I wasn't ready to tell. But then I snapped out of it and remembered J was on the phone and I said you need to come home immediately. He walked in the door, saw me crying and we fell to the floor hugging and crying. The emotion I felt in this dream was so real. Then the damn alarm clock went off and it woke me up. It took me a minute or two to realize it was just a dream. I had to wipe away the tears that I cried during my sleep; my pillow was welt. The pain I felt from realizing it wasn't real was just as much if not more than getting a negative test. I realize dreams are a part of life and if you're trying for a baby, you're bound to have a dream related to that. However, it feels to me, at this moment, like it's just one more thing to f*ck with your head. I guess I'm just bummed. Oh well, guess I'll be ovulating today or tomorrow and praying that one of those little suckers makes their way in :)